#au loki kind of
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i watched crimson peak yesterday (totally not because of a thomas sharpe fantasize edit i saw on tik tok) and the first half of the movie was a really good fanfiction like i got massive pride and prejudice vibes and the second half of the movie was a weird horror slasher movie blend which i found really confusing. i’m still thinking about when he said “a link exists between your heart and mine” THAT IS SO UNREALISTIC. like only in a really gay letter would someone say that. but we love it. the first half of the movie was like a tried and true classic love story. we don’t talk about the second half of the movie.
#crimson peak#thomas sharpe#tom hiddleston#au loki kind of#professional kiss interrupter#lucille hater#fantasize by ariana grande#i had too much fun watching that movie#horror#guillermo del toro
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who can solve my plot/character problem in the sylki con artists au so that i can continue writing it
#The Problem: AU Loki scams rich people so that I can make (gentle! wholesome!) fun of Fandom Suit Kink Classism#which i'd think would give him a fairly good criminal income?#however the plot requires him to be A Poor and desperate for money enough to take daft risks with these scams#so i need to drain that income continually in some way to leave him hoping that This Next Scam Will Solve All Our Problems Bro#(AU Thor is not convinced and has got himself a job instead)#anyway the obvious drain that suggests itself is a gambling problem but that feels way too serious for this fic#as well as likely impossible to fix in time for the Happy Ending#and so i am kind of stuck at this point#debt incurred by some previous less successful crime? an ironic “he spends it all on suits duh” self-inflicted-by-the-solution problem?#what do people with money do to lose that money?!! halp!!!#fic related#oh the shark has such teeth dear
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wouldn't it be fun if instead of the young avengers being a team of superheros post avengers break up the young avengers were a band post avengers break up. like. band aus and shit
#sorry brain fog is talking#(the brain fog is young avengers band au)#young avengers#marvel#marvel comics#not mcu#fuck the mcu#all my homies hate the mcu#band au#marvel comic#do i want to tag the characters even though noone is mentioned by name...#sure.#billy kaplan#teddy altman#tommy shepherd#america chavez#kate bishop#kid loki#NOT from the loki tv show#kys loki tv show#david alleyne#noh varr#i think its very important for band aus to elaborate on the type of music said bands make#and for this all i will say is listen to los campesinos and the hush sound#their songs are the kind of songs im imagining for this imaginary band
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Fox & Yuu just being together is pure sunshine ☀️
They are~
He loves them so much. And they love him just as much. Fox's brothers must give him so much shit about it too.
"So," Wolffe drawls with a shit eating grin on his face as he leans across the table to stare at his twin, "Yuu." Fox sighs and downs his entire drink, "I'm not having this conversation." "You absolutely are," Cody adds as he flings his arm, roughly, around his neck, "I can't believe that you defected for a pretty person." "I will pay you to not have this conversation." Fox says bluntly. "Mm. Not going to happen." Wolffe replies, "Come on, vod. Walk us through it. Why them?" "...they're kind." "Bullshit." "I'm being honest." Wolffe pulls back and stares at him for a moment, "Huh. You really are. You fell for her—them, sorry—because they're kind?" Fox frowns at his twin, "They want to make the galaxy a better place for the clones. There aren't many people who would do that, Wolffe. And you know it." "Well then, I'd like to get to know them." "Beg pardon?" "If they're so important to you, then I want to get to know them." Fox just sighs, "Fine. But it's up to Yuu, not you."
#star wars#star wars au#PA AU AU#So#once upon a time#I read a story for an anime I used to love#where one of the characters was Loki#and the story was Urd talking to Loki and asking him why he chose to love the person he chose#and his answer was “because she's kind”#and it stuck with me all these years
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Okay, Okay, cyberpunk au: I admit I would laugh – with respect! – if one of the sleeping Assassins was Bayek. Like, damn, the emotional and intellectual whiplash of waking up not in who knows how many years before Christ, but very, very five thousand years later, far away from Egypt, with running water, cures for most if not all diseases that would kill a medjay, let alone a civilian, and the gods know what the fuck is most of that shit around. Like, five stages of grief right there.
Damn, this was more distressed than I thought it would be 😶
Addition from @ma-du:
Also, if there's any nightclub scene in cyberpunk au, I bet Ezio would be serving cunts to the sound of this:
==============
Additions by teecup
Ezio would definitely enjoy that song and would also use it to annoy the Templars by hacking their sound system (or if they have ‘upgraded’ hearing, directly hacking that) and playing that in full blast.
The Cyberpunk AU this is connected to.
I believe you will be happy to know that, yes, Bayek is one of the sleeping Assassins. To be more exact, the initial list is:
Altaïr
Ezio
Ratonhnhaké:ton
Edward
Arno
Jacob
Evie
Bayek
Amunet
So we’ll also see Amunet’s reaction to both the world they are in and the state of the Brotherhood.
Not to mention, there are rumors that the Assassins are in hiding somewhere in the city as well.
To be more exact, it seems like the Brotherhood gave full authority to this Elijah but he ‘disappeared’ (Altaïr and the others believe he died or, if he is still alive, he was most probably captured by Abstergo.
So they were whispers of terrorists being an eyesore to Abstergo, hiding in the shadows and are supposedly cold-blooded murderers.
There seemed to be some discrepancies though…
Because some say the leader of these terrorists is named Hastings.
Others think it’s Crane.
There are those who believe ‘Crane’ is a codename.
But then some say the leader’s codename is…
‘Loki’.
(Eivor and Kassandra are not part of the list because there is another ‘facility’ that are being used by the Assassin as their headquarters. It’s supposedly a ‘backup’ facility in case the main facility fails or Altaïr and the others fail. The person named ‘Loki’ made a deal with Elijah, to keep the Assassins safe and to push them into going on a suicidal mission to retrieve Desmond’s body if Altaïr and the others fail. Eivor and Kassandra are meant to be the others replacement if they fail)
#is it really basim?#or is a hasting-crane descendant taking the name of the trickster god#to confuse abstergo#i mean…#basim would be a little too old by this point#unless he goes into stasis or something first#then again#basim is a sage of loki#this means…#another sage of loki could be doing this#if that sage turns out to be a hastings-crane descendant?#well… that would be another kind of drama XD#assassin's creed#ask and answer#teecup writes/has a plot#fic idea: assassin's creed#i don't even know if i should anyone#cyberpunk au
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I had another Good Omens fanfiction dream this morning.
Basically, Crowley was due to give birth. You might ask, Pestilence, what's with you and Crowley being pregnant?.. The answer is, I don't know, and neither does my therapist.
So, Crowley's due to give birth, he's scared and in pain. Beelzebub shows up, along with a few other demons (I guess I'll look through the Key of Solomon, I remember a few have to do with healing). She told him they'll support him. I have a feeling, the dream adhered to my idea that Crowley and Beelzebub are siblings (in spite Beelzebub looking like she does in S2, so Indian).
Crowley had to change to his snake form, because while his human form was male (so he couldn't give birth without surgery, which was too dangerous), his snake form was female. The demons put him in a whelping box (genius idea). Crowley gave birth to either 4 or 6 baby snakes (apparently, they're called snakelets). It was a live birth, which, fun fact, some snakes do give (i think boa constrictors, and snake Crowley kind of looks like one, aside from the colouring). The baby snakes then morphed to human form. I don't think Crowley nearly died, but he lost a lot of blood, and got extremely exhausted. No, it probably wasn't realistic to how snakes actually give birth.
(They were far larger, though)
Oh, and at some point, Aziraphale found out, but someone (possibly Beelzebub) forbade him from coming, because an angel's presence would distress the babies, and they wouldn't take human form. They could also die.
No, I don't think Aziraphale was the "father". The babies were demons, while, according to my headcanons, when an angel procreates with a demon, the baby's an angel, as it's the original form (though, they do retain some demonic features). Maybe, Crowley mated with an actual snake, or something... It would be very Greek and Norse god of him, but what the Heaven, dude... I guess, Beelzebub could act as the litter's she-father, once the two had reconciled. Which, is a word I use for maternal figures who, traditionally, would be considered more paternal. You know, kind of emotionally detached, more provider than carer, often absent, that sort of deal.
This is incoherent, but I only remember fragments. I guess, I will put it down in my notes for the future. I already did. (I'm kind of tempted to write the birth scene, I like writing birth scenes, they're brutal).
Don't you just have a love/hate relationship with when you are already swamped with WIPs, but the Fanfiction Gods send you another vision?..
Also, don't you just hate it when you give birth to a litter of snakelets, with the help of your coworkers, and your estranged sister.
What the Hell do you even name that many damn whelps...
#yes it's not the first mentioned the previous one but just in passing that it's very heavy... it's also crossover w legion#this is unhinged i am unhinged#diary pages#dream journal#idea archive#i'm making notes#good omens#good omens fandom#good omens fanfiction#crowley#snake crowley#good omens crowley#good omens beelzebub#good omens aziraphale#i'm just... adding as many tags as i can so i find this when i need it#i can't remember if idea archive was my tag for this#story ideas#pregnant!crowley#i learned some information about snakes#beelzebub is always female in my works and always looks like shelley bc she's pretty#crowley ending up w she-fathers for his/her children is becoming a trope#first michael then... his sister i guess this is kind fo the crowley x beelzebub inc*est au#not the crimson peak one tho#seriously who in the hell is the snakelet daddy for once as isn't the accidental deadbeat#crowley did you go all loki my dude were you creeping on animals like some greek gods#i think beelzebub asked him whom he mated but i don't remember the answer#wtf now that beelzebub's pretty she's no longer the enemy to protagonists but their relationship softens most times#having 4-6 children now that's an actual nightmare#i have fankid names for crowley's kids but they aren't this damn litter#just name them after heathen gods or musicians or something
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I love cannibalizing and re-purposing cannon to fit my purposes and id. What Freudian shit will I come up with?
#i think this is why im generally so unbothered compared to other mcu!loki fans that prefer the movie one to the series one#im like 'i'll make a weird freudian fic about it bc the loki series inspired me in freudian ways'#not to mention that i like very different kinds of lokis as well. so tva!loki is still endearing to me despite acting different#the only lokis i don't like are when they're very normal children that have not reincarnated like atreus#or those anime ones that are high school or middle school AUs. i HATE high school AUs. im too old for that shit....#i also don't like the one from that anime ROR. bc i fucking hate that anime...#and technically it's cannon that everything is cannon in some hypothetical timeline#if i've learned to appreciate aspects of my writing it's the symbolism. the one thing im good at. lol#i wish there was more weird series-inspired shit rather than mundane au shipping
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At last it is done and I can spill all my thoughts. A bday gift for @spottystyle and of his kittypet Tigerclaw au where she runs away after attacking Bluestar and becomes a kittypet called Catzilla. This is her in the garden with Sasha who stays and becomes her mate in this!!!
Long au thoughts below lol
(BTW Catzilla is a trans kitty using she/her)
While drawing I had so many thoughts. Particularly around how Sasha and Zilla work together and had the idea that maybe before Tiger finds her soon to be owners she is just flitting across the land and while on the run bumps into Sasha who had recently lost her home after her twoleg never come home. The two bond over darker pasts thought Tiger doesn’t share much about her own. But Sash is annoyingly curious. Pushing to know any scrap of knowledge about the mysterious cats story. It is until one night as the stars slightly twinkled above them that Sasha knew what was so scary to share. Scared by what Tiger told her Sasha fled away, running to a place much farther away. Now much more alone then she was before Tiger just walked back, somewhat hoping some group of cats would take her. While walking the streets she did hear a few whispers of some scary cat who controlled the alleys but she didn’t mind. Maybe they’d attack her and she’d finally be done with.
Tiger does find a creature who cares. A kind twoleg who took her in and washed away her fleas. The lifestyle she once mocked now was her own and… she liked it. She was pampered with a pretty collar and bright stuff on her claws. Eventually after a long long while Tiger, now Catzilla meets the cat who left so long ago. And right at her paws were three soft bundles of fluff. Sasha had wandered for a long time but hated it and wanted refuge and by some twist of fate, cruel or joking, led her here. Chatterbox was ecstatic at the new cat in town but they could sense Catzilla not being as thrilled. Eventually the family settles in. Sasha is taken in by the next houses twolegs along with her kits and the two make up. The family’s grown so much already. Catzilla, Chatterbox, Livvy, Sasha, Jinx (Moth), Loki (Hawk), and Spell (Tadpole). Little would she know her kits would run back into the cats she ran from. Her little Loki and Jinx heard some tale from a large group of cats. And Catzilla knew who they were the moment the kits told her about them she told them to never go there. But of course they wouldn’t listen.
Out of story I think Loki and Jinx would check out the newly settled clans and actually kinda love them. Jinx becomes friends with the kind plant cats and learns a lot herself about them, particularly liking to spend time with Leafpaw. But Loki liked the opposite. He’d listen to the stories, hold ever battle tale he heard to heart, eventually begging to join. He named himself Hawkpaw to sound cooler joining Riverclan as a warrior apprentice. Jinx didn’t immediately but she was tempted in by little Leafpaw’s words to learn more, acting as a friend to the cats and occasionally staying for awhile. She does eventually completely join being called Mothwing after the sign that was found to get her to join. Spell stays in town but helps in their own way with the church cats (Spiresight = Tadpole AU). Though Zilla and Sasha’s daughter does come back begging for safety after Moth and Leaf have the three. Idk much later maybe Leafpool still goes back to the clans without the kits and either Catzilla, Chatterbox, Livvy, and Sasha raise the three or Moth stays back and raises them. Eventually bringing them back when she’s told by Leafpool too, having been told that the kits left behind hold the power to save the clans in the harshest fight.
#I love them so much hope u had a amaizng birthday Spotty!!! I may have fallen in love with this au now lol#idk why but I had to name Moth Hawk and Tad with kind forecasting names#Moth named Jinx for the curse she seems to carry Hawk named Loki for his trickery and Tad named Spell for the magic he holds#ruse au’s#WC au#warrior cats au#Tigerclaw#Sasha#sasha wc#livvy wc#Mothwing#mothwing wc#wc mothwing#tadpole wc#hawkfrost#night knacks#gift art#birthday art#birthday gift#warrior cats art#WC Art#warrior cats#Hehe her claw caps :)
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okay but what if I like made my own loki variant…. that like…killed odin when he found out he was adopted. like, it would be an accident.
like, he yells at odin and some crazy magic stuff happens, then instead of odin falling into the odin sleep thing, he falls down dead and loki looks at him and is like “oh what the shit, i just killed my- my father?? the closest thing i had to one?”
then the tva shows up and takes him away and then gets pruned
#loki season 2#this is how i’m coping#loki#tva loki#TVA#marvel#thor#avengers#loki odinson#loki laufeyson#marvel norse mythology#kind of an au#marvel au#marvel timeline branch#loki show#odin allfather#loke
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Twitch streamer Victor Frankenstein
#lovelycatdraws#fanart#kind of#frankenstein au#victor frankenstein#the creature#frankenstein’s creature#Adam frankenstein#twitch streamer frankenstein#Loki’s art
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anonymous sent: 🎵 for every 🎵 i get i'll post a song i associate with my muse. | accepting.
The Foundations of Decay - My Chemical Romance
You must fix your heart And you must build an altar where it swells When the storm, it gains and the sky, it rains Let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away And as you stumble through your last crusade Will you welcome your extinction in the morning rays?
#anon.#answered.#ooc.#inspiration. dancing on tiptoes‚ my own secret ceremonials.#music. that ancient hymn you heard me strumming.#sigyn. you saw the stars out in front of you‚ too tempting not to touch.#about. my kindness is my sword.#headcanon. as long as you are kind to those who are not strong.#v. adding shadows to the walls of the cave. ( the punishment )#v. i can smell the smoke of hell in every stitch and seam. ( ragnarök )#v. all the tales the same‚ told before and told again. ( after )#v. i am no mother‚ i am no bride. ( immortal au )#i put this song on to celebrate two years since it dropped and i went totally feral#then proceeded to listen to nothing else until the gig so i knew the words#and for the first time ever it hit me with feels - specifically myth verse ones#a lot of the lyrics lean more to loki during / post-punishment for me but#when you consider what sigyn has been through by the time ragnarök happens?#those lines above specifically made me think of her#she's lost so much and is about to lose even more#at what point does knowing everything ends soon start becoming something you welcome?#because i think by that point in time that's where she's at
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––––This is for OUR justice! But this isn't you...
(Picrew)
#; Dash Games || An Unfair Game ♟️#; Verse || The Raven King and the Crow ♟️#//TECHNICALLY they're all Goro's Shadow to some capacity. But only one of them is the Palace's Ruler. :)))#//So meet Loki; Robin; and Hereward!!!#//Loki gave me the most trouble but Hereward's is my favorite.#//I wanna talk about this verse a lot more and talk about them!!! Because they're so important to the story!!#//I still need to figure out just what I want Hereward's role to be.#//Talking with Koi I know what I want his role to be in that kind of timeline.#//But in general I still haven't figured out what his true purpose is.#//He embodies so much of Goro's true self. He is the melding of Loki and Robin.#//And for the Palace's sake that can make him very dangerous.#//But Hereward is still very new to Goro's world. He's kind of like an outcast in a sense.#//He's the most mature of the three but he's also the most reserved as he tries to find his dynamic amongst the group.#//I CAN AND WILL RAMBLE SO I SHOULDN'T DO THAT IN THE TAGS BUT FEEL FREE TO EVER ASK ABOUT THIS AU#//It always makes me super happy when anyone wants to talk about it because it means a lot to me. ;3;
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Hateful: multiple times in the past few months I've read fanfic about two separate characters whom I found endearing and thought "Oh my god Hux was the blueprint"
#this KEEPS HAPPENING#it keeps happening.... i have such a type it's. the horror of knowing myself#for the three beloveds who will see this (if you see it you're the beloved)#and whose passing curiosity will have asking 'oh who was it?'#it was a modern au!astarion a few months ago#and right then it was loki. 😔#i mean to be fair i fucking knew it. i knew it!#like. astarion? i saw his face three times in august and it was over. i didn't pick favourites because there wasn't a choice#loki i have been Aware of for. years and years. and i was studiously avoiding anything mcu related because god forbid#but it's happening. it's happening#i always knew if i got into it loki would be. a clear blorbo for me. and i was correct!#the 13yo inside of you never leaves. i get to make her proud by drawing fanart at least#how do i even describe that type. what kind of character are all three of these guys?#i need to study all my blorbos under a microscope and compare them#wow i have a ramble tag now
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for the fic title thing:
only a monster (would bleed like this)
<3
-> send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i'd write for it! (*within ten working days.)
hi hello i have not actually forgotten about this! sorry i left it almost two weeks! i've never done this game before, and title-then-plot is the opposite of my usual creative process, so i found it surprisingly hard. so... unfortunately i still only sort of have an answer. prepare for a lot of maybes and vagueness and vibes.
here's what i originally started writing (which is okay analysis, but sits strictly within canon, and on its own would only produce maybe 400 words of character study, which even by my standards is not quite "a fic"):
okay i had to chew on this one a little because i have so many favourite characters with guilt complexes... but i think this one works best for loki. i feel like the core idea for loki re: this phrase is like... how guilt makes him worse. how seeing himself as a monster is a self-fulfilling prophecy. how he tries to "atone" for violence with even worse violence because his moral compass is just absolutely fucked. this is all especially relevant to thor 1. but also, beyond all this, it's fun to explore how the guilt begins with things he shouldn't feel guilty for at all. like, he feels guilty for having emotions and for being born. he interprets everything about himself through the lens of "weak" or "coward" or "failure" or "monster", even when you could never reasonably expect anything else.
and the vague direction i was going with that was like... loki's fraught relationship with his body. how he does literally hate the blood in his veins.
i know it's incredibly literal, but like... IF you put that man in a situation - say, a curse - that meant he was suddenly, unexpectedly, both badly injured and jotun-looking... i think panic/self-loathing/disgust over looking jotun would win out over his already weak survival instinct, and he would have a visceral, *violent* DO NOT TOUCH ME reaction to anyone trying to help him. which would not be helped by the jotun frost-touch thing, which i maintain is not permanent... but which loki definitely doesn't know how to turn off. (but once he realises *that's* happening he might actually use it to try and drive people (okay, thor) away and prove his ~monsterhood~... and he might miscalculate and do more severe damage than he intended to.)
however... it is bothering me quite a lot, given the prompt, that i can't work out how to fit the guilt-for-not-being-worse thing in here. we have internalised space racism, and we have regular guilt for hurting people you care about, but where is the rancid ideology... where is the deliberate harm to others... where is the *coldness*...
but maybe that's a problem to work out if and only if i actually decided to write the damn thing. maybe it would solve itself if i found some context to put it in. idk. hmm.
ANYWAY. that's as far as i got. started making it, had a breakdown, bon appetit?
#space viking tag#my writing#ask memes#i tried :(#thank you anyway <3 <3 <3#this also kept pinging the part of my brain that offers existing WIPs every time i try to come up with a new one#with one in which thor interrupts loki during a suicide attempt and loki. tries to kill him. for trying to save him#(but also for regular fratricide reasons)#(thor dying isn't quiiite the primary aim but loki's willing to risk it to drive him away. and he's desperate. and angry. it's complicated)#however that fic also has a lot of other stuff going on bc it's a modern AU and thor pov and stuff#really it's an attempt to transpose the climax of thor 1 into a universe without planet-destroying doomsday devices#and um. it's kind of interesting/funny. that i looked at this prompt and went AH PERFECT.#and then actually really struggled bc i JUST wanted to write thor 1 again. rip#meta#s: fandom#ch: loki#th: monsterhood#th: ethnicity#th: honour + villainy
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Lokius (Loki/Mobius) AU - What if Mobius, while looking for the Loki he knows from his timeline, encounters a different variant of himself...? A hunter Mobius.
+ Plot twist: Hunter Mobius is in love with Loki... but not the Loki we are familiar with. (L1145 is Loki in the alt. timeline where Hunter Mobius is in.)
PART IV can be found here!
Rogue variant Sylvie captures Hunter Loki in an attempt to find information inside his mind to infiltrate the TVA, but proves harder than expected when she finds that not all is as it seems... She leaves Hunter Loki behind as she makes her escape.
Mobius finds Loki in the year 2050's apocalyptic event loop after a desperate search through many time loops.
Meanwhile, Loki is stuck in a memory wherein one time he jests to Mobius that he's figured out what Mobius might be 'lacking' in the emotional spectrum, like himself, as Hunters aren't supposed to have 'feelings'. He compares love in the shape of a dagger, fleeting and unreliable and better off without and Mobius looks unimpressed.
Or rather, he maintains this appearance on the outside, because Mobius knows what he feels for Loki is forbidden, and there was no way in hell he was going to endanger Loki's life. That is... until he realizes that almost losing Loki tears him apart and he wonders if this is what it must feel to be truly pruned and ripped asunder.
#lokius#loki laufeyson#loki#loki series#mobius m mobius#mobius#sylvie#sylvie laufeydottir#hunter lokius au#hunter mobius#hunter loki#my graphics#my lokius#yup im kind of repeating everything#but changing it a bit?#Like wouldnt it be cool if we get a chance to see a different variation of Sylvie#i kind of wanted to see a kickass Sylvie doing awesome stuff without romance involved so#heres my version of Sylvie? hah#more to come mwa ha ha#okay i was all in for writing fics for this au but i dont have time to do that right now TwT
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It’s what he expected. Denial. He’s not surprised and doesn’t contest those words. It won’t do any good. It’s not a point he’s trying to win anyways, but he also can’t quite keep biting his tongue. He sighs and looks away. “If different means unstable, I guess I can’t argue with the first part.” No. Maybe not unstable. That’s not fair. He’s just… off. And Ichigo can’t help but come back to Shiro’s comment about not being the same person.
Again, he’s not expecting confirmation, so he falters when he gets it. He frowns, his next response lost when there’s no pushback. Like the muddled steps of a spar. Either way, his stomach is still dripping from the realization. “Hard to want us or how to remember how family is supposed to act?” He grinds his teeth then resorts to chewing the inside of his lip. “I hope you can at least remember I’m on your side.”
When Shiro goes still, he figures he offended him again. It’s turning into an easy thing to do. But Shiro says nothing and Ichigo pushes his hands into his hoodie pockets and tries not to feel guilty about it. He shakes his head. He’s put off getting back too long, he doesn’t want his sisters to come looking for him in the dark. “Guess you’ll have to entertain yourself for a while.” Because he doesn’t really believe Shiro will stop by for a visit in any timely fashion. Or maybe at all. Ichigo moves to stand beside the door, ready to push the flaps aside, but hesitating. Still. “Don’t forget. You said you’d come see them.”
If he had his way, he’d stick to Shiro’s back like glue. But he can’t. As always, his sisters come first. They’re his responsibility. So he leaves, going down the way they came.
His mouth pulls downward at the corners a little, briefly, before settling into something kind of neutral. Like hell he'd go back regardless, let alone because Ichigo might say he should. But Ichigo finally says he's broken and it makes him want to snap all over again. "I'm not broken." It's growled out and offended. Ichigo clearly has a romanticized memory of what they were before, like everything had always been perfect but Shiro knows that's not true. It's just what Ichigo's been telling himself all this time, missing and wishing for a perfect past that he'll never have. "I'm just different from what you want me to be. That's your problem, not mine."
Those words ring an uncomfortable bell in his skull, like a loud, annoying, hollow echo. It's not the first time he's been told that. His response is conditioned: a small shrug, his attention shifting to one side. "It's just hard sometimes." That's what she had always wanted to hear from him. They wanted him to struggle, to show that he could admit that he was. They called that progress. Trauma care. What a joke. Well. Shiro's smart enough to play the game.
He notes that step back, away from him, and wonders if Ichigo's trying to mentally and emotionally distance himself, or if he's suddenly disconcerted enough to want the physical distance.
The answer he gets to what was mostly supposed to be rhetorical, a way to show that he's just fine, freezes the air in his lungs. Does he feel like that right now? No, not really, but that's because he's busy. What Ichigo says is exactly what it's like when he's by himself, without enough going on to keep him occupied and distracted. When his lungs unfreeze, the first breath is tight. He shakes his head and hopes it seems dismissive because he can't quite work up words just now. He's cold again, despite the warm sweatshirt. "Yeah," The response comes out on autopilot, too genuine without much thought behind them, "You always were good at keeping me entertained." But they hurt somewhere inside him, because they're true, but they're not true. They can't be true because... because they're just not.
#whitemoon#tsp activity check#devils' advocates au#Ahhhhhh shiro is so dead on#Ichigo has idealized their entire past into some kind of fairytale life#it absolutely wasn’t#and he knows that on some level#so I guess he better stop pointing fingers about who needs therapy#but also these two have some real Thor/Loki energy#it’s so funny to me
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